To some point I feel delusional that I can get past this deep bold boundary to the other side. I really don’t care about competition but it’s still matters to compare. I just don’t feel enough. There’s been more instances of, “maybe I really am not cut for this”, “this is so difficult “, and “I’m really tired”… Why can’t I just give up? It’s really difficult when time and money have been invested for more than 2 years. It’s even more sour when he’s fighting a very similar battle of finding self worth in this competitive world.