Places I want to try.
Just a few days ago, I decided to take the Z train for the first time ever since high school to get to my destination. It was weird Bc it is such an empty train and the old style of it. I went through the Fulton center to get to it. Haven’t really been inside the new building so I took a snap shot of it. 🙂 Very cool ceiling glass.
It was also around this time around that I decided to be kind and gave a homeless man a banana I had and also got him two bottles of blue gatorade b/c it was near dangerously hot temperature. What I got out of it was asked to speak to him for a bit while he was partially high on something he was smoking and weirded out by things he said to me along the line of marrying him and wanted me to shake his hands. I think I was more uncomfortable with the way he looked at me up and down. Towards the end he asked me to come by and see him every now and then.
I like to help but I don’t like to stop and talk.
Today I spoke with my mom about the impact plastic is having on the natural world. She was very willing to listen and understood the impact we as humans are leaving behind and on poor animals on land and water. This is interesting because I’ve never brought up this issue before and it’s not always so obvious when you can’t read or write like my mother. It reminds me again the responsibility and importance of educating those who are unaware of these different issues. I’m proud of my mom.
I ran a lot further than I had in a long time. I kind of expected to run to my usual spot but decided to go further b/c I felt that my legs could keep going and they did. It’s such an amazing thing to be able to use my legs in such a way. I’m thankful for the things I can do with my body. But there are still a lot of social constructs that is not progressive. It is difficult being different from others in physical appearance and hobbies. It’s getting to a point that I really feel the need to focus financially on making the laser surgery possible. It has taken long enough. I’ve had enough and am ready to be seen past the outer me.
But with a hint of sadness because of surrounding negativity. I don’t know to function since yesterday. I can’t tell if the exercise tired me out or something else completely out of my control. I still feel tired but we still just need to push on. Keep going!
Over the years, my greatest improvement has been inner peace. I used get frustrated to tears when the littlest things go wrong. Now, I just accept things as they are when it’s out of my control and keep going. I don’t think I cared less but more that I know with my frustration the situation still won’t change. I just adapt.