I found myself being overwhelmed by my emotions again. It’s keeping me awake and also asleep til noon. It’s not only sunny but beautiful outside yet I wish to just stay in door for as long as I can. Sometimes I imagine myself cutting a really thick rope with a small piece of stone. A stone that weathered the water for years. Pretty useless in my instance though. But I want to be that stone. From sharp edges to fine ends. So, I hold it in and keep moving and most importantly, away from that one individual who doesn’t know or understand me to always make the most blatantly obvious statements that pushes me towards the edge of my imaginary cliff. This person can’t find peace in herself and spreads negativity. I’m so impressed with her partner. It’s no longer surprising when they argue.
In my family, it’s very typical for everyone to use the method of throwing you in the water to get you swimming when you don’t know how. Everything is ‘isn’t it obvious what you should do’. No, it’s not. There’s no teaching.
It’s upsetting. Worst part? Lack of proper communications. I guess there would be… Since English isn’t the language they rely more on compared to me.
I hope to release this tight feeling from my chest and be more productive.
Feelings can suffocate.