A new Phoenix rises from dust and is reborn. Can relationship do the same?
Just a few months ago, a dear GWN mentee whom I had met when I first started the program, she passed away. Mona was one of the sweetest and welcoming individuals I came to know but sadly didn’t keep in touch. Her unfortunate passing made me very sad. I took the time to remind myself of how much more I need to spend time with people I love. I find love and comfort in being with my mom, second sister and my best friends Viky and Carmen. I cherish the time I have with my second sister. Our relationship has transformed over the years and continue to become stronger. I really appreciate it. In the memory of all the dear and young people I knew who passed away, I remind myself to appreciate my relationships even more and to push on ahead when there are difficulties in life. Life is short and fragile. I hope wherever they are, they have peace.
Every step so far feels like a struggle and then the feeling of uncertainty just throws it completely off. Fear is pretty strong right now. But I’ve already made so much effort to get past it. There’s so much I need to accomplish that it’s becoming daunting. There’s always the thought, I could’ve made it easier on myself b/c I’m rather simple. But this inexplicable push from somewhere inside me just ask me to do it.
To some point I feel delusional that I can get past this deep bold boundary to the other side. I really don’t care about competition but it’s still matters to compare. I just don’t feel enough. There’s been more instances of, “maybe I really am not cut for this”, “this is so difficult “, and “I’m really tired”… Why can’t I just give up? It’s really difficult when time and money have been invested for more than 2 years. It’s even more sour when he’s fighting a very similar battle of finding self worth in this competitive world.